body aches several days now
multiple bms (although lessening overall)
waking up in the night (ok that's been happening for years)
unsteady on my feet (several recent spectacular falls with bruising and small bloodletting)
really having trouble focussing compared to what I know I have been capable of
more memory issues
pondering suicide by lightning (aka dying by choice in a way that no one feels guilty about afterwards and can say "It was just a terrible accident"
How do others stay motivated? What keeps people going? Are there really people in this world who feel ok most days? Are there people who sleep well?
I'm trying to gather evidence that I am not just not trying hard enough, that I do have real barriers against functioning. It's hard to believe and yet not.
Easy to cry - comme toujours (I am Canadian after all).
Post from 2011 - Who am I if I'm not suicidal? What is life like? Where am I uncomfortable because I'm not suicidal? It feels anxiously flat, a nervous nothingness So I feel ...
10 months ago