|some of my painted work|
I am feeling a glimpse of what it must feel like to be happy because of the 222 afterglow. I would like very much to feel this way naturally. I have compulsive thoughts quite frequently. those longings for comfort that lead me to choose to scour my cupboard and consume whatever is there, that in the past made me choose to drink a lot, shop a lot, and other worse riskier things.
Glad my crisis has passed, these are quite horrible. A kind of unrelenting, bleak despair permeates deep into my skin, into my organs, my bones. It's not chemotherapy it's a wave death infusing then eventually passing through til next time. Blah.