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Monday, October 13, 2014

disappointed i woke up

despair crying doesn't even give me relief, triggered, embarrassed, tired when I go to bed, tired when I wake up. disappointed when I wake up, that's a very scary feeling too.

want to live, but not this way, want to feel better

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Sketchy Sleep Hygiene

overall I think I'm better but this was a tough morning, too many mother references and my grief (at not being one) feels so fresh

tired too,  that generally makes for a rough morning, but I went out, walked the dog,  got some groceries

trying not to be too anxious and feel like I've already failed before the art shows actually happen

I seem quite gifted at self-fulfillng prophecies of doom, feels like a skill I've honed since birth, willing it away if I can.

time for naps.

so much for good sleep hygiene