and plummeting down again, it's so discouraging. making headway it seems then I'm back in this hole. shit.
but the bright side is that if I am having moments of above the line this is what throws my down side into sharp relief.
so much is going on that is positive and life-force affirming but now that, for the first time in a long time., I have something to compare the blackness to, it seems blacker, my eyes do not adjust so well. And I just feel so tired and spent, it really sucks.
This above the line feels so fragile, I place so much trust in it and then it falls apart. surprise.
Post from 2011 - Who am I if I'm not suicidal? What is life like? Where am I uncomfortable because I'm not suicidal? It feels anxiously flat, a nervous nothingness So I feel ...
10 months ago