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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Dread

I am struggling more and more too much going on not enough release and grounding. Suicidal thoughts daily, still no clear plan,mostly fantasizing methods,no actions towards any of these. A slow dread has been stalking and escapsulating me for months ow. There has been death in the past couple years, a family member,a friend and other upheavals. Feeling like just letting go of
Life not really sleeping well, never have of course. Once in awhile I get a chunk of solid hour or,aye even two. But that's it so tired a great del.feelingvulnerable, bitey (the word popped into my head). When in doubt just ake upward. I think a lot has to south how strong iwasfeelingandhowexcited, atoned I was to take some steps toward my phd and even had a skype interview witha prospective supervisor then I crashed. Hard.and i dont think I have recovered yet. I haven't seen my therapist for awhile so i guess I,m due.

2 comments:

  1. You're blogging! I'm so excited! I am so sorry you're having a rough time right now and, yeah, your therapist sounds like a very good idea. Be gentle with yourself, dear cousin. Gentle. You overdid it, obviously. Celebrate the positivity of what you've accomplished and give yourself a break for the rest. Hugs and love.

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