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Friday, December 2, 2011

Feeling so lost and empty. Space where there should be something, some feelings?? Other than the lost kind. Empty places where there should be hope, energy, love, inspiration. Emptiness. Someone one said that the only thing worse than being hated was being ignored. Convinced of my uselessness, it's so strong. Staring inside from a great distance. Quizzical, puzzled, inhuman. Tired all the time. Mired in nothingness, what is restraining me? Acting as if. Don't want to act. Want to be. Whatever Hamlet. I don't feel noble. I don't feel heroic. Just nothing. Wanted to help, couldn't do it. Can't help myself, it's a slow death of many little cuts. Nothing breaks into the numbness.

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