I just "caught" my company smoking in our house. I said "That's not good" and "Please don't smoke in the house". My husband said "Go to bed Kelly". Nice. I just spent an hour listening to entirely inappropriate jokes, did not laugh (they weren't funny) and now for some reason it's ok for him to smoke in my house. Doesn't matter that I've asked my husband not to, I thought it was a reasonable assumption that he would respect my wishes.
So they're all mad and I am no doubt the bitch - sometime i just fucking hate the entitlement of men. I said "There is a great big yard outside for you to smoke in". So now, the part I really hate, the part where I buy into the "I'm a bitch".
I feel like I am three and I just disagreed with my angry dad. I feel afraid, I feel unjust. And I didn't do anything wrong.
Fuck I wish I was more assertive. This is small small shit and I feel devastated. This is the kind of shit that sends me reeling into bad scary trap-laden places.
Post from 2011 - Who am I if I'm not suicidal? What is life like? Where am I uncomfortable because I'm not suicidal? It feels anxiously flat, a nervous nothingness So I feel ...
9 months ago