So I've been feeling better lately, ever since we came back from the
BVI. It's a no-
brainer really because it was a beautiful quiet place where we were v
ery active together
and sharing a great deal of nature together,
this where we are at our best. I think it also reinforced the many things we have to be
thankful for. So how come the doubts start to creep in?
About whether I am
truly laden with some "conditions" or I am just lazy. Many times when I feel that I am
functioning well, then I think, so what's
the big deal? Why the
meds, why the therapy? Then, why am I getting help?
$^%*$^%*&$%*^&
What the hell really. Just mindf**k after mindf**k (I'm feeling coy). When I am feeling NOT sad, then I start to load on the guilt, the judgments, like for instance:
LAZY!
selfish
user
cheater
liar
man this is nasty.
wait there's more!
failure,
hurter
coward
Many time I have felt cowardly, that I didn't stand up better or differently. Effing guilt.
Toaster's up!
Hurray
Posts
Well at least the toaster is up!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you called last night, btw.
You certainly made my night - one less thing to feel guilty about.
Hurray!
:)
Thanks Cathy, I'm glad I called too, it was really nice and fun talking with you!
ReplyDeleteToasters are unflaggingly cheerful. I might get hostile.