warmish, quasi-sunny day, not bad for a rain forecast.Went for a nice walk with my friend Amber today, to Seal Bay (saw a seal!), there was even some sand and a plethora of herons (a gaggle? covy? brace? heehee). Amber is expecting her first child and I am very excited and happy for her, she will be a great mom , one of the reasons is her kindness, compassion and love of fun and out there (out here???) thinking (which of course I love) - ok that's 4. my math is sketchy. And B, she is able to be so very present with others, it's a glorious skillset. I am envious too of her pending motherhood, as I envy all mothers.
lots of yard work yesterday and sat, raking, cutting grass, weeding, digging in the garden, even some worms but no cool beetles, I like their colours. Speaking of, BVI was rife with colours (bevy?) in the flowers, the fish the birds, the people, the accents and dialects. underwater was where we spent most of all of our days there, swimming with turtles, rays, the aforesaid fishies and even the very fear-inducing barracuda, an impressive fish, epic teeth, a lethal (ok, I lived but it was still scary) gaze that shivered my timbers. Allegories 'r' us of course, feeling the wombfort of warm water, imagining the little minnows swam with me because they felt safe - using this as evidence contrary to my imagined evil essence.
Sometimes things sink in, positive evidence, Amber is really inspiring for this, she is able to challenge the dreaded voice of conviction, simply by countering with a concrete example of the good she contributes to the world. Very positive energy.
I see Picasso's Guernica and see his genius, one that can be misconstrued. Deceptively cartoonlike figures- who are in reality depicting what is so difficult to depict - what trauma feels like, how serrated the pain, how desperate is our fear, our rage our sense of injustice that there is not time to fancy it up with realism. It's shorthand cutting to the quick - wait, that was redundant. I only wish he was kind to all of the women in his long life. His early work is so different, so classical in terms of the art canon, but then HE shows up, his essence which includes layers of scarring. Far more fascinating and inspiring. I like it when I show up, I come out in my best work, where I feel most driven, most at fit with the universe. Art is my psychological tailor.
Encouraging news in the science world, CBC talking about the Brain project in Quebec where they study the brains of persons deceased through suicide. Seems there is a dearth of a key substance (of course whose name escapes me). These substances keep our brains elastic, that is able to counter change, deal with our external world. An elastic brain doesn't get stuck, doesn't get frozen, doesn't get HARDWIRED. I think we all know (except that I can only speak for me) that biological/physical is the same as emotional /psychological - well at least it is what I believe, just waiting for the science to spell it out.
waiting for the science
like living for the seance
who who who to believe
who's that rapping tapping knocking
surely science will provide?
where our soul's blood flows
raw ripped jagged
where else rests solace?
uh oh, underpinning is unpinning
unglued, untacked, unhammered, declamped
time to go.
goodnite to dear friends, new and old