Still here. Not enough energy to leave.
Learning more and more about how little I know: about me, about everything.
I don't feel loved. Complicating this: I wouldn't recognize it if I was loved. Also, I don't feel loveable anyway.
I feel alone and lonely, I feel too far gone. How can I learn to love myself when I have no experience of feeling love or loved? It's a deep hole I've dug. A series of caves and passages and chambers. I'm deeply hidden. Deeply damaged.
I cannot even imagine what feeling healthy - aka depression and ptsd-free - would feel like.
late winter snow - just as roads and pathways were *finally* clear of snow and ice, just as i changed from heavy gloves to leather dress ones, just as i was able to wear sho...
2 months ago