It's another catch-22 methinks: how then do we know ourselves unless it is in relation to others. We can only see what we reflect off of others, what others mirror back to us. I think. I was tired to day, awake in the night. Off to the GP (not guinea pig) and a recommendation for an increase in effexor. Then to the pharmacist who said"Oh, it's good that you're checking your BP..." cause I do that, and I guess it's one of the side-effects, so voila instant discouragement set in and I cried and the pharmacist was very kind, which somehow made it worse. She asked if she could do anything, I shook my head, wanted her -someone, anyone - to just take it all away. I just want to feel like my daily aspiration is not just: baseline. Argh.
Post from 2011 - Who am I if I'm not suicidal? What is life like? Where am I uncomfortable because I'm not suicidal? It feels anxiously flat, a nervous nothingness So I feel ...
11 months ago