Sine waves

Back to neutral ground again. Watching life from a safe distance. Was at the beach yesterday, enjoying the water, the life teeming around me, envious of the momentum. Small squeals, barks, water everywhere. Life for life's sake, thousands of sand dollars - why?

Ranges of parenting examples, some encouraging adventure, some entrenching fear. Older people frolicking in the water. Inspiring that.

Instead of rejoicing in the life spirit around, I feel it instead as failure as comparison and lacking. But it's not piercing as it can be. I guess reducing the negative also nullifies the highs. Gotta have a sine wave or nothing.

The sun feels good, the water assuages. Water is like that, the great mother - bolstering, suspending, reducing the weight of whatever we're carrying. My fears dissipate into the Pacific, their concentration reduced. Buoyed with soothing.

Then I come home.