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Sunday, March 14, 2010

Holy Lost My Mind Batman

Must be tired. Boy, I really got on the proverbial soapbox last time huh. Yikes.

It's stormy again, it's late, did I mention the tired thing? We're springing ahead today - sounds motivating, don't want to get left behind.

I wove a little basket today, and worked on some other projects. I wish I could be more like a regular person, I wish I didn't jump at the slightest sound, it's like I'm in a perpetual state of disassociation and everything happening around me is received as wee sharp darts piercing my numbness. For someone purporting to be numb I sure cry a lot, but only when someone is nice to me or asks me how I'm doing (see: nice to me). I am unprepared for niceness, quite stymied indeed.

I have a big family and am proud to say one of my sisters has joined the land o' blogs as well. I think she has a great deal of wisdom and a lot to offer, so it's very cool that she is writing. She is a huge support in my life. Without family I would find a little hole to disappear into.

I guess many of us, if not all, want to be who we are meant to be - if indeed that is possible - part of the fate vs chaos discussion I suppose. Yet I think we are born with a distinctive and pure essence and if we are really lucky we get nurtured into the fullness of this essence.

But then again, maybe thinking about this stuff is like that wonderful quote (whose provenance I cannot recall - but I think it was someone native to Turtle Island) that says something akin to: All this time I waste worrying whilst a great wind is bearing me across the sky.

AKA Get over yourself and live in the moment, deal with what is here... and now. OK. So I (warning: entering into made-up word territory) pendulate from poster child for spontaneity to bedroom pod.

Well that's enough of that. I love reading quotes, love succinctness; words right at the root of a matter. I celebrate the gifts I have and comfort the empty spaces.

1 comment:

  1. You are a talented writer. I thought I blogged last night, complete with picture, but alas it gone into the hozone..... I love your words, hate the word verification. Why is it necessary? Dakota