Looking inward, trying to see and improve actual rather than imagined flaws. Obsessing overs mistakes. Mistakes of even tiny magnitudes overpower any positive I've achieved. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm on an autism/Aspergers spectrum since I seem to be lacking some basic social skills.missing important cues, I'll ask my psychiatrist about these. Or could it"just" be a manifestation of how beat down I feel and have felt much of my life. People tell me to just be happy. Argh. I guess they mean well yet I feel dismissed, underestimated so the beaten down feeling is reinforced. Vicious cycle.
Had a headache this morning,took some Advil, which eventually worked and further removed my emotional pain. Epiphany. Emotional pain is pain. Can understand why and how one can become addicted to such things.
christmas past - it's a few weeks yet 'til christmas, but we are putting up the tree tonight. this is unplanned, but the tree is in the yard, up against the house, and why ...
1 week ago