why is it just so hard.I'm not doimg anything except breahting, can't look after a dog, let alone myself, I havent brushed my teeth for months, I havent showered in days, I jus=t want to destroy everything around me, and nin manby ways i hgave and now have no one I feel I can call, I want to scream my fucking head off pull down walls, throw rocks, smash smashsmashm then of course it the feeling of  stupidity, futility, shame. I remember feelingn like this when I WAS A TEENAGER, WHERE DOES TH9IS RAGE COME FORM, IT's awful.fuck.