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Saturday, March 23, 2013

Acknowledging my Anxiety

I'm feeling so nervous, I can feel my belly churning. I am going to be in a panel art talk this afternoon. I enjoy public speaking I miss it in part as it is purely performance for me, perhaps thinking of it in this way removes me to a safe distance, I think so, reduces my anxiety, as does the writing I do now. When I have not acknowledged my anxiety in a concrete way it has more power over my choices, I am more apt to say things from a place ruled by my insecurities rather than from a deeper, calmer place, where I am better able to listen, to pace my words and actions. I am excited about this opportunity to speak about my art; to speak to its strengths and limitations. I hope to be courageous in my words and actions, to speak of what I know which is only me and no one else. Everything is subjective, and my art is me on display, which is an act of courage too.
I want to assert myself, not interrupt others. I hope I speak words that are meaningful. I hope I challenge what is suitable to challenge, with grace and respect. This feels like an important opportunity for me. I'll report back.

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