winter to spring
-
this winter has been so gloriously mild. lots of greens and browns on the
landscape rather than white. when it has snowed, it's been a flaky snowfall
that...
3 weeks ago
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Seeping Dreams
why do I remain haunted by stupid shit that happened over a decade ago? These aren't even life threatening or harmful to anyone, but they were missed opportunities, places perhaps where my fears limited me, or I allowed them to. doomed to live an insignificant life. Why am I so obsessed with being famous? Would it mean I was worthy ? Is that it? Why cannot i just be happy with what I have, feel satisfied with what I have accomplished? What haunts is a feeling of not living up to my potential, a familiar experience to many I imagine. Dreams lost, drained away, seepage into the surrounding soil of our lives detritus.
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Oh, man, these are feelings I've struggled with as well - and they are tough. Self-criticism comes so easily for me, but acceptance is a completely different story. I just keep trying to remind myself to look forward and to make small steps toward goals, but I think what helps me the most is when I meet myself with compassion. Some days this is easier than others. Anyway, hope you find the self-acceptance you so deserve. It's never too late to take advantage of opportunities!
ReplyDeleteThank you worth, for your kindness and validation, it's always helpful to hear your words, I hope all is well for you, take care
Delete"A feeling of not living up to my potential." Now THERE'S a familiar litany!
ReplyDeleteYou're so awesome, you really are. I want to be JUST LIKE YOU, I really do.
By the way, it was so lovely to see you. Dave thinks you're the nicest person he's ever met and that's high praise coming from him.
HUGS to you dear, sweet cousin.
thanks so much Cathy, and how very nice of Dave, I am so glad you found each other, hurray!
DeleteI had such a wonderful time with you too, we have good chemistry - the kind that never goes away, thank you for welcoming me into your home, you and yours are always welcome here too by the way.
Congratulations on finishing your novel, very fantastic! And thanks again for sharing a little bit of Weezie (sp?) with me. Love always (ps you are pretty major awesome yourself).
Kel