threat from within

 So my feelings are here I'm not sure what it's about just sitting here in tears welling up wanting to connect but not wanting to call anyone because I don't want to bother anyone these are the times I feel alone  these are the times when I feel for an end alien I'm sitting in my chair of comfort surrounded by it's soft arms it's like a little cave I sink in I hide  but I need the tears to come I felt nothing for a while now some sort of safety in numbness I don't know what to do the world is so much pain and I sit here not doing anything just feeling the same wanting to rescue everyone And I can't I have so much privilege I want to give it all up but I don't think that's possible so the alternative is to go and use my privilege for someone else's help such a helpless feeling but I am not any threat of death except that my own hand there's no war here except inside, no one is bombing me no one is threatening me, just me. The threat comes from within.