been pretty angry last couple days, was trying to find words to describe how i was feeling that didn't involve the word volcano or boiling, or anything purply or metaphoric. sometimes it's hard to find the word(s) that really capture - er, me.
at times i think I'm addicted to therapy, shamefully self-indulgent, but I also think it is ok for me to be seeking nurturing.
I like that i have some empathy towards others, it's a good sense to have but sometimes it is overwhelming, I can barely stand to see other people and I can often pick up on their sadness, loneliness, desperation, or is it just my feelings bouncing off of them. it's hard to know, I feel confused and just plain rotten sometimes. with no clue what it's about .
i see that we are humans but we are also all electrical beings we all generate electrical fields, all living things do, even plants, it's just sometimes very tiny and hard to measure. I think this energy is what is behind when animals are reacting to stuff we haven't noticed: like building storms and earthquakes.my dog reacted to the earthquake the other night, me not so much.
i think we are all so dulled sense-wise, too much input, too inundated, I think a lot of us are just plain overloaded and any overloaded circuit cannot function as it was meant. Same for us human or animal types.
Post from 2011 - Who am I if I'm not suicidal? What is life like? Where am I uncomfortable because I'm not suicidal? It feels anxiously flat, a nervous nothingness So I feel ...
8 months ago